Thursday, April 21, 2011

Top three…Terms Used by Woman to Deceive You

YES means NO, MAYBE means NO, NO means YES BUT I WANT YOU TO BEG ME…it is a lot to keep up with to say the least. As a member of the female gender I completely and fully admit to the fact that what we say may not always be what we mean. It is unclear and confusing but with extensive research you may be able to decipher the complexity of a woman’s language. So here it is boys, a jump start to the beginning of a lifetime of translation.

 1. “Nothing’s Wrong”
Listen up and listen well, if you ever, ever, EVER get this response from a female there is absolutely, positively, most definitely something wrong! We are all guilty of it…don’t even lie to yourself girls…you have used this at least once. In our defense however this is not always used with malicious undertones; it could be that we really think what is upsetting us is trivial or of unimportance to you so we do not feel like discussing it. The point is that we usually just want some attention so if you give it to us we will most likely let it go.

2. “It’s Your Decision”
Well this one does tend to get a little more confusing. When we ladies hit you with this ultimatum we are actually saying, “You better be able to read my mind and make the decision that I want” Unfair? Yes! But Reality? Undeniably!

3. "Only If You Want To"
Ha-ha if you ever hear this phrase spoken from a girlish significant other you better believe we want you to. We present it in a way to make us look less desperate or needy but in reality yes we want you to do whatever trivial…possibly deeming to your manhood…task we have for you, with pleasure:)
This Video Inspired this post! If you havent seen it yet, you should!

Check out one of my very favorite blogs! Would You Rather?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Top three….Fashion Trends I’m So RELEIVED Never Lasted!

Oh the joys of youth: recess, your first crush, Cowboys & Indians, slumber parties and the simple life. As I look back on those good ole’ days with pleasure one thing still seems to stick out to me, what the H*** was I wearing? I’ll admit it, in my innocence I partook of all these style train wrecks…but now realize in my “wisdom” that I pretty much looked ridiculous. However, in my defense about 90% of the pre-teen generation was right there with me! These three picks are those trends that I am so grateful never made it out of the 90’s…

#1. Stretch Tattoo Choker

I seriously don’t even know where to begin with these…they are awful. I mean   we had every girl in my 6th grade class walking around with 3 or four of these on their neck plus the matching bracelet, ring and anklet. Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t…

#2. Platform Flip Flops

I wore a pair of platform black Rocket-dog flip flops for roughly 2 years of my adolescence and I loved them! It was seriously a day of mourning when my mother told me I needed to through them out. However, I do now realize the atrocity of these Styrofoam high heels/beach shoes…they almost look as awful on your feet as Crocks. (Almost)

 #3. Popcorn shirts

These however were the worst fashion foe of my younger years. Anything that could fit an infant and a full-grown adult should never…EVER…be worn. Enough said.  

*Post pictures and comments of your favorite childhood fashions, good or bad!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

TOP three…Most Annoying Facebook Habits

1. Half-Nude Self Portraits

Ok we all know you’re young, thin and look good in scantily clad attire…but why is the picture of you being taken in your bathroom with a kissy face and you seem to be the photographer using your phone? I don’t get it. You all know what I’m talking about.

2. The “It’s Complicated” Relationship Status

Thank you for telling the world that you have relationship problems, all you’re really doing is begging the world to meddle in your personal life. If it’s so freaking complicated get off Facebook and fix it…

3. Utterly Pointless Facebook Groups
 Yet another mighty annoyance. People, do we really need Facebook groups for ‘I Like Eating Pickles with Cheddar Cheese in My Underwear’?  Or ‘I Like Watching Raindrops Fall Down a Window and Secretly Cheering for One to Win’?  I think not. It just ain’t my particular cup of Facebook tea.

Other Annoying Facebook Habits

  • The Random Friend Request: Ya I don’t know you. Wait maybe…no no I really don’t know you…
  • Stalking Capabilities: We are all guilty of it but the thought of someone else doing it to you is just creepy.
  • Pointless Tagging: Seriously? I am picking my nose in the background of you and your boyfriends 3 month anniversary picture…why would you think I would want to be included in that moment. Let alone have it show up on everyone’s new feed.
  • Poking: no explanation needed
  • Joint Facebook Pages: you are not your own person? Is it really necessary to alter the message to more than one person?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

TOP three…Phrases We Use but Don’t Really Understand

We use them every day, to explain the normality of our day-to-day engagements. “Hey, you seem like you have a chip on your shoulder, what’s going on?”…well actually NOTHING because my shoulder is perfectly clean thank you! See what I mean? We take these outlandish phrases for granted habitually but how did they come about? Who decided that that when you’re in a pickle, you’re in trouble? Let’s find out…

#1. "It ain’t over till the fat lady sings"

Who is this apparently plump female anyway? I have no idea but she obviously makes the finale of something important.

**ORIGIN: The musical connection is with the familiar operatic role of Brunnhilde in Richard Wagner's Götterdämmerung, the last of the immensely long opera, Ring Cycle. Brunnhilde is usually depicted as a well-upholstered lady who appears for a ten minute solo to conclude proceedings. 'When the fat lady sings' is a reasonable answer to the question 'when will it be over?', which must have been asked many times during Ring Cycle performances, lasting as they do upwards of 14 hours.

So obviously this slightly tubby woman is a singing conclusion to an unbearably long Opera…interesting!

#2. "Getting Cold Feet"

Hmmm…my appendages do often become slightly frosty but that never causes me to become disheartened or timid, losing my previously established courage. I don’t get it…

**ORIGIN: Why this term was coined isn't at all clear. On the face of it there doesn't seem to be any obvious connection with the literal meaning of cold feet and the meaning of the phrase. There are a couple of citations of the phrase in publications but nothing to help establish a source.

Apparently no one knows! Ha-ha

#3. "Cute As a Bug"

Imagine for a moment a bug...cute picture? Hardly. In fact absolutely nothing about any insect is even slightly appealing to me let alone extraordinarily attractive. Yucky!

**ORGIN: The phrase originated in the southern states of America in the latter part of the 19th century and is still more common there than elsewhere. No-one, even in Texas, where the phrase is often said to have originated, thought that bugs' were cute. What they did think, and they had a point here as insects can detect very miniscule and high-pitched sounds, is that they were 'acute'. Cute was actually a synonym for 'acute' in the 1700s in England. Nathan Bailey defined it in The Universal Etymological English Dictionary, 1731, as: sharp, quick-witted, shrewd.

HUH…so bugs are shrewd and quick-witted? That still does not make very much sense to me but at least we aren’t referring to them as cute.


Bringing home the bacon - Despite my intense love for bacon I still don’t know why we always want it brought home, that would get very old!

By the skin of your teeth What? Teeth don’t have skin…duh.

Dead as a doornail Were doornails ever alive? And if they did die, how can we be dead like them…puzzling…

{I want to hear your funny phrases!! Post some of the idioms you use on the regular and see if anyone uses yours!}